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Beauty Information |
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Can You be TOO Feminine?
I have a client, I'll call Julie. She's a beautiful and fit woman that I'm working with on the phone. She's polite and sweet and extremely smart. I enjoy her immensely and she's working with me to get better social skills and so she can work better with men. I guess I'm pretty good at this. I grew up with a mom who had 8 brothers. My dad had 7 brothers and I have 2 brothers of my own. I have a sister too but when I was younger I was the girl in the neighborhood who would compete with the boys while playing kickball or pickle in the front yard. I liked to win. My sister was more into crafts and sewing. I picked those up later, but was never as talented as my sister in domestic things. I was the one who had to learn how to be feminine. I was always "one of the boys" until college when I realized that I wasn't being treated special by the guys at all. They were rough and tough around me and didn't hesitate to talk down to me either. I remember once in college I felt I'd had enough. I was a freshman and hanging out with the football players. They all liked hanging with me but when it came time to ask the girls out for a party, I was the one stuck at home. I decided to change that in the blink of an eye. I disappeared. I no longer went to the cafeteria to just hang out every night. I ate at another location and basically didn't reappear for another month. When I finally decided to make an appearance.. I was a bit coy about where I'd been. I had lost a few lbs but didn't show up in sweats any more and didn't laugh quite as loud as before. Guess what happened? They all asked me out!!! I finally realized that to be treated like a QUEEN, you have to BE A QUEEN!!! It was a lesson I never forgot and it's allowed me to be treated well in business and my personal life my whole adulthood. I demand to be treated well. I leave if I'm not. So, MY lesson was how NOT to be ONE of the boys!!! The lesson my CLIENT is learning is to BE one of the guys! First of all, what are the advantages of being a woman in business who can 'yuck it up with the guys?" Well, there are times where she's going to be their boss. She's going to be the one bearing bad news, or the one praising them, or the one selling to them. If she feels comfortable and can be their friend, then there won't be the uncomfortable tension that sometimes happens between men and women in business. Many women who didn't have the advantage of growing up with brothers or being an athlete view men as a mystery. They haven't figured out how to talk with them (to the point and share INFORMATION, not STORIES ) and they haven't learned how to be treated well by them. (confront them for bad behavior or dump them!) But how can a woman, who is used to being so feminine get to the point where she is comfortable with the men? I read a passage from a great book to my client today. It's from "Women who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. "Within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species. Though the gifts of wildish nature come to us at birth, society's attempt to "civilize" us into rigid roles has plundered this treasure, and muffled the deep, life-giving messages of our own souls. Without Wild Woman, we become over-domesticated, fearful, uncreative, trapped." YES!! This is what she needed to hear. I actually told her she could try being more MASCULINE. I challenged her to go to a few rodeos, whoop it up with some cowboys who ride bulls, go to a few sports games and sit with the rowdy folks, wear jeans, drink beer, go camping, get her hands dirty, take pottery lessons, and do some loud belly laughing! She was amazed! No one had EVER told her that she could try being more MASCULINE in order to get along better with men. I assured her that there would be NO way that she'd turn into a man eating monster but that she'd just get the "feel" for what its like to be more comfortable with that wild part of her nature that she wanted to nurture. She loved it. I did too. It's something I'd never really coached on but it was definitely a lesson that I'd like to give to women who are too stuffy, too conservative, too suppressed, too domesticated or TOO FEMININE. Being feminine lady is a wonderful thing?. but abandoning your 'masculine side' will make you slightly uncomfortable and fearful in the presence of others. While men will appreciate your sophistication at a dinner party, they may avoid you while cutting lose. We've all heard how much business is done on the golf course. That's because people do business when they feel comfortable with others. So ask yourself.. are you comfortable with others in every situation? If not, then push yourself to be in situations that potentially make you uncomfortable. When you can be comfortable with being uncomfortable, you are on your way to making others comfortable too. And that is the BEST trait of a sophisticated lady! Mary Gardner, The Charisma Coach! is an Executive Communications Consultant and Trainer. She works with, coaches and trains individuals, sales teams, executives, and celebrities. She owned and operated one of the first coaching institutions on the east coast, CCI, in NYC, Philly and NJ. Mary has appeared on ABC's 20/20 and has self published a book on public speaking. Mary is married to Sway and is mommy to Jeremy 5, and lives in Orlando, FL. Contact mary at: mary@marygardner.com or Web: www.marygardner.com
MORE RESOURCES: Prom 2025 beauty trends that slay Global News Beauty Buzz: The 3 best beauty products we tried this week from Hermès, Dermalogica and Maison Francis Kurkdjian Vancouver Sun Spring beauty trends CTV News The ‘Monstrous Beauty’ of Pretty Porcelains at the Met The New York Times Longevity Beauty Brand Oneskin Launches Hair The Business of Fashion Bread Beauty Supply Acquired by Cost of Doing Business, the Holding Company Led by Topicals Founder The Business of Fashion Rare Beauty Soft Pinch Liquid Blush review: Why you need this makeup product for summer Cosmopolitan Best New Beauty Products in April 2025 NewBeauty E.L.F. BEAUTY SHAREHOLDER ALERT: CLAIMSFILER REMINDS GlobeNewswire Theatre review: Beauty and the Beast: My Life balances raucous panto and poignant personal reflection createastir.ca Vagaro Vantage Report Explores Why Employment in Barber & Beauty Industries Projected to Grow Faster Than Most Industries Yahoo Finance 5 items our beauty editor is loving this month Global News Beauty in brokenness: ‘It Started in Paris’ exhibition highlights glass artist’s France Journey KERA News What’s Next for TikTok Shop’s Billion-Dollar Beauty Business The Business of Fashion OHL Play of the Night presented by MilkUp: Therrien’s Breakaway Beauty Canadian Hockey League Newly conserved portrait of an Italian beauty who bewitched King Edward VII to go on show The Art Newspaper Biotechbeauty Launches a Microbiome-Friendly Beauty Stick Beauty Packaging DEI in beauty: Market demand or marketing gimmick? Cosmetics Design North America Canadian Beauty Launches Trend Hunter Biotech beauty’s unstoppable rise: The science transforming skin care Cosmetics Business Tennis legend Serena Williams turns back the clock and serves an ace in beauty line promo Sports Illustrated The beauty of economic corridors: Inside Alberta’s work to link products with new markets BOE Report LYS Beauty Secures Eight Figure Series A Investment The Business of Fashion "A Miracle In A Bottle": 26 Beauty Products Reviewers Wish They Could Give More Than 5 Stars BuzzFeed OHL Play of the Night presented by MilkUP: Pickell’s Backhand Beauty Canadian Hockey League The Ultimate List of Beauty Industry Stats (2025) Exploding Topics What Does Gen Z Want in France? American Beauty Brands. The New York Times Quo Beauty® is turning 25! Loblaw Companies World's largest atom smasher makes 1st-of-its-kind 'beauty' particle discovery that could unlock new physics Live Science Love Chanel beauty? This book is a must-read Yahoo Life UK U.S. Trade Tariffs Raise Uncertainties for Beauty's Future — CTPA and PCPC Respond Cosmetics & Toiletries "The King of Beauty" L'Oréal has bigger ambitions longportapp.com Caffeine-Infused Beauty Product Market to See Huge Growth by 2030: Estée Lauder Companies , L'Oréal openPR.com L’Oréal China Reports Growth & Plans for the Chinese Market Beauty Packaging Menomonee Falls Ulta Beauty theft; 2 out-of-state women accused FOX6 News Milwaukee The Secret to Giving an Old Beauty Brand a New Look The Business of Fashion 34 Beauty Items With Results So Magical, Glinda The Good Witch Would Give Her Stamp Of Approval BuzzFeed Paris Hilton Fragrances Debuts ‘Iconic’ Eau de Parfum at Ulta Beauty Packaging How could Trump’s trade tariffs affect EU & UK beauty businesses? Cosmetics Design Europe Redefining Beauty: Confidence, Care, and Self-Love Huntsville Doppler Murder of Texas beauty queen by Catholic priest still shames US Church 65 years on - Catholic Herald Kareena Kapoor Khan Shares Her Beauty And Fitness Secrets, Says, 'I Can't Sleep At Night Without..' BollywoodShaadis Ending my 26-year marriage resulted in a total beauty overhaul - and it's been rejuvenating hellomagazine.com WIN! Our 2025 Beauty Awards must-haves! Girls' Life The 31 Best Beauty Launches to Try Right Now instyle.com On beauty, Shaggy, and fatness The Georgia Straight For Beauty Products, Natural Isn’t Always Better Time Magazine How will the crackdown on ‘gig’ workers effect beauty? The British Beauty Council Fenty Launches Sweet Cherry-Scented Collection Beauty Packaging 59 Seconds of Beauty: Our 2025 Beauty Resolutions ELLE Canada Magazine ‘Love Hotel’ Review: Finding Space for Beauty in the Bleakness The New York Times If You Still Need Convincing, These 34 Items Are Solid Proof That K-Beauty Products = Legit Magic BuzzFeed |
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